neutral

”The diagnosis is a possible
indication of an abortion
and parents in this situation
usually decide for an immediate termination”
– says the specialist for prenatal diagnostic.

He is consciously neutral,
I have to make the decision myself.

“What if I carry my child full term,
and await a natural birth?”
“Then he belongs
in the hands of a paediatrician!”
“Why not in my hands?”

Forensic considerations:
Because of possible legal implications
for the doctors involved
he thinks a birth outside a hospital
would be impossible.
“You will find no one to support you
giving birth at home!”

I can decide now
to end my child’s life
within the next few days
with medical intervention.
But four months later
I am not allowed
to give birth to him
outside an obstetric clinic,
because then he needs
optimal medical care.

Both options scare me:
I have to come to terms
with having my child
taken away from me –
and me from my child –
because he is imperfectly formed
for a long life.